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"89 Ways to Write Powerful Press Releases"
Lesson #44: Skip the
self-congratulation
 Today's
lesson is courtesy of publicity expert Marcia Yudkin, and it comes
straight from her excellent ebook
"Marcia's
Makeover: 24 Press Releases Transformed from So-So to Sizzling."
I love her book because with each "before and after" makeover, she
explains exactly what she changed and why she changed it. The book
is great for Publicity Hounds who need to learn how to write press
releases from scratch, or how to make over releases that just aren't
producing the results they had hoped. Here's Lesson #8 from her
book.
Marcia's Makeover #8:
Self-Congratulation Has Its Limits
According to magazine and newspaper editors, the most common
and most vexing weakness of the press releases they receive is a
tone
that resembles a sales pitch. To avoid this, don’t talk directly to
the
reader and ruthlessly edit out any adjectives that function
primarily as
self-praise. In David James’s original release, the word
“refreshing” in
the headline and “great” in the second paragraph fall into the
category
of self-congratulatory evaluations and therefore need to come out.
The other major flaw in the first version is a totally unnecessary
caginess about the fact that the Home Income Digest is a product for
sale and not a free web site. Magazines for special-interest
audiences
like to feature new products, and if they have some qualms about
including complete ordering information, they can leave it out. If
you
include prices and where someone can buy, media mentions often
incorporate the information buyers need to make a purchase. Notice
here that the “after” release also provides a reason to visit the
web
site for someone who has no intention of buying.
In the revised version I also added the number of business
candidates examined and selected, which adds credibility, as well as
more details about James’s screening criteria.
BEFORE
For: Home Income Digest, LLC, 1180
Chambers Rd. #110B, Columbus, OH
43212.
Contact: David James, (614) 486-0930,
Email
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
A Refreshing Approach: The Home
Income Digest Publication Puts a New Twist on Successfully Starting
Your Own Home-Based Business.
Columbus, OH, August 25 - If you’ve thought about starting your own
home-
based business, you’ve probably also cringed thinking about all the
opportunities available out there. It’s overwhelming! The problem
with
starting your own business isn’t finding opportunities. The problem
is finding
legitimate opportunities. Thirty-six-year-old entrepreneur David
James
tossed away his engineering hat to take this challenge head-on.
At his Home Income Digest website at
www.homeincomedigest.com,
Dave
gives great examples of real people running real businesses - and
making
real money. For several years, he had been painstakingly collecting
home-
based business opportunities from every source imaginable: internet
sites,
magazines, newspapers, radio ads, television ads, telephone calls,
free
publications and word-of-mouth. He even ordered all of the
supposedly
"legitimate" work-at-home directories he could find.
"I think most people would be surprised to learn how many great
small
business opportunities there are out there,” says James. “My biggest
challenge was coming up with a system to screen out the (scam)
companies
who had little to offer but had still done everything right as far
as their
standing with the BBB, their local Chamber of Commerce, the Attorney
General and so-forth. But a few well-placed calls to customers
usually gives
them away.”
Home Income Digest focuses on business opportunities that can be
started
from anywhere in the country and require low start-up costs. For a
franchise
to be included, it must have start-up costs under $20,000 – though
most
business listed are well below that, some as low as $100.
Business examples include home-based management, in-home
consultation
and on-site service. Two to three pages of detailed information is
given on
each business, including fees, order forms, pictures and contact
information.
A variety of business structures are available, part-time,
full-time, seasonal,
occasional – work is at your own pace with income based on your
efforts.
Extensive experience is not required.
Questions can be sent through the website
www.homeincomedigest.com.
Copyright 2003-2004 Marcia Yudkin,
http://www.pressreleasehelp.com/.
All rights reserved. Please ask for permission before reproducing,
republishing or distributing any portion of this report for any
purpose.
"Businesses to Avoid" are also included, as well as links to larger
business
opportunities and franchises.
AFTER
For: Home Income Digest, LLC, 1180
Chambers Rd. #110B, Columbus, OH
43212.
Contact: David James, (614) 486-0930,
Email.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
New Publication, the Home Income
Digest, Sifts Out Scams and Recommends Viable Opportunities for
Home-Based Business Owner Wannabees
Columbus, OH, August 25 – For those searching for a way to make an
honest
living from home, the problem isn’t finding opportunities. The
difficulty is
finding legitimate opportunities. Thirty-six-year-old entrepreneur
David
James tossed away his engineering hat to take on this challenge
head-on.
For his newly published Home Income Digest (www.homeincomedigest.com),
he whittled more than 500 possible home business candidates into
just 40
that passed his stringent set of requirements.
"Most people are surprised to learn how many great small business
opportunities there are out there,” says James. “My biggest
challenge was
coming up with a system to screen out the companies who had little
to offer
but had still done everything right as far as their standing with
the Better
Business Bureau, their local Chamber of Commerce, the Attorney
General
and so forth. But a few well-placed calls to customers usually gave
them
away.” James includes warnings about types of home businesses to
avoid at
the Home Income Digest website,
www.homeincomedigest.com.
The Home Income Digest focuses on businesses that can be started
from
anywhere in the country, have no educational requirements, have a
clearly
stated refund policy, are in good standing with the authorities and
involve
low start-up costs. For a franchise to be included, it must have
start-up costs
under $20,000 – though most businesses listed are well below that,
some
requiring as little as $100 to launch.
Businesses included range from home-based management to in-home
consultation and on-site service. The Digest offers two to three
pages of
detailed information on each business, including fees, terms and
conditions,
photos and contact information. The diversity of the businesses
enables
readers to find the level of involvement that suits them best,
whether part-
time, full-time, seasonal or occasional.
“It took a lot of discipline to complete my first version,” notes
James. “Twice
I almost put my whole publication project on the shelf because I was
so
excited about some of the opportunities that I wanted to start them
myself.”
The Home Income Digest, which is
updated for accuracy every three months,
costs $34.95 plus $2.50 shipping, or $28.95 for an instant download
in PDF
format. It can be ordered from
www.homeincomedigest.com,
by calling
(614) 486-0930 or by sending a check or money order to Home Income
Digest, LLC, 1180 Chambers Rd. #110B, Columbus, OH 43212.
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If you want more "before" and "after" examples, read more about what
you'll learn in
"Marcia's
Makeover: 24 Press Releases Transformed from So-So to Sizzling."
Opportunity #44:
Name change
If you're changing your name, or the
name of your business, nonprofit, social group, school, etc., write
a press release.
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