"89 Ways to Write Powerful Press Releases"

Lesson #43:  A product release

Today, we're starting Week #7, and we'll concentrate on how to turn your press release from mediocre to marvelous.

Let's start with a press release about a Colorado company that's the first in the state to offer a crime-prevention product that lets people apply a unique ID code to valuables such as laptops. The original version of the release, below, misses the opportunity to use the problem/solution angle that you learned in Lesson 31.

Notice:

• The vague headline that includes the name of the company. Most people reading it wouldn't have a clue what DHI is or what the press release is about.
   
• The first paragraph that puts the emphasis on the company introducing the product.
   
• The URL at the end, that leads readers to the company's homepage, where they have to hunt for the page that includes the product.

My version has:

• A more specific headline and a sub-head.
   
• A first paragraph that concentrates on people who are struggling with a problem, then explains how the product can solve it.
   
• A URL that leads readers to the exact landing page where they can read more about the product. You learned about landing pages yesterday in Lesson 42.
   
• The keyword phrase "crime prevention" in the headline and throughout the copy. I've highlighted the words for you in yellow.

The only other thing I'd do differently is include a shorter URL at the end of the release. The company can do that by redirecting visitors from the shorter URL to the actual page with the longer URL.

Here's the original version:

DHI offers New Crime Prevention Technology

EVERGREEN, CO - June 29, 2006 - DHI, a leader in home inventory services, has added DataDot™ asset identification and theft deterrent technology to its product line-up. The DataDot™ Kits are all-in-one DIY products that allow anyone to permanently attach microscopic identifiers, each the size of a grain of sand, to objects ranging from artwork to cell phones. With DataDots, any valuable item can be easily and forever linked to its owner with a technology
that is virtually impossible to defeat—in essence, a unique personal asset DNA.

DHI becomes the first authorized agent for DataDot Technology USA in Colorado. “DataDots are an outgrowth of 20th century spy technology and are a phenomenal and synergistic addition to our core home inventory services market for asset preservation and protection,” says Aaron Hansen, owner and founder of Digital Home Inventories.

DHI will work with homeowners, small businesses, students, and educational institutions in identifying and protecting their valuables. Unlike stickers, engravers and other traditional ID alternatives, DataDots are unobtrusive yet incredibly reliable.

Easy, Trustworthy

The DataDot Kits let users easily mark all their high-value objects to reduce theft and/or improve chances of recovery. The kits include enough DataDots to mark a range of personal items, pre-mixed in an indelible, clear-drying adhesive. A foam brush is included for applying the adhesive, which contains an ultra violet (UV) trace to make locating the DataDot easier.

“Many of the world’s top-name automobile, motorcycle, and boat manufacturers have been using DataDot technology for some time to permanently identify their vehicles and parts. With the DataDot Kits, consumers have the opportunity to buy this remarkable technology for home use,” said Stuart Cutler, President of Distribution/Operations for DataDot Technology
USA. “For little more than a dollar per item, users can now permanently identify and protect their most precious possessions.”

Each DataDot Kit includes hundreds of DataDots suitable for marking virtually anything in the home or office. The waterbased suspension liquid is permanent, yet won’t harm delicate objects.

Users can easily apply DataDots to computers, cell phones, PDAs, portable game players, laptops, sports equipment, bicycles, china, artwork, collectables, tools, televisions and many more items. Users are encouraged to mark their
possessions in multiple visible and hidden locations, along with several “false” glue marks to confuse thieves. The kit also includes DataDot decals that owners can use to warn off potential thieves.

For more information contact: Scott McKeever, Program Development Director, DataDot Technology USA at 800-546-4454 or Digital Home Inventories at 303-810-7368 or info@DigitalHomeInventories.com

About DHI: DHI helps its clients Document, Preserve, and Protect Their Assets. DHI is an authorized agent for DataDot Technology USA. For additional information, please visit our website at www.DigitalHomeInventories.com

###

Here's my rewritten version:

CONTACT: Aaron Hansen

Crime prevention kit can track stolen property, from laptops and cell phones to valuable artwork 

Digital Home Inventories (DHI) is first company to offer DataDots, anti-theft ID kits, in Colorado

Evergreen, Colorado -- August 1, 2006 -- People who are worried about thieves stealing their valuables, from laptop computers to artwork, can apply a microscopic permanent marking to the items and increase the chances that stolen goods will be returned.

The DataDot™ Kit, which lets anyone apply microscopic identifiers no bigger than a grain of sand, is the newest crime prevention product offered in the Colorado market by Digital Home Inventories.

With DataDots, any valuable item can be easily and forever linked to its owner with a technology that's virtually impossible to defeat. It's like a fingerprint, or a unique personal asset DNA for valuables. Each kit costs $19.95 and includes enough dots to mark up to 20 small items like cell phones, or 10 larger items like laptops.

"DataDots are an outgrowth of 20th century spy technology," said Aaron Hansen, owner and founder of Digital Home Inventories of Evergreen, Colorado.

Unlike stickers, engravers and other traditional ID alternatives, DataDots are unobtrusive yet incredibly reliable. Each crime-prevention kit includes a small blue tub filled with a milky substance in which up to 500 microdots are suspended. Each dot is encoded with the same ID number.

Users brush the solution onto their valuables such as laptops and other electrical equipment, business assets, cell phones, tools, and other expensive items. The adhesive dries clear and has an ultraviolet trace so it can be detected by a black light.

Users must register their kits on a secure national database that law enforcement officials can access if their items are lost or stolen. To discourage thieves, each kit also comes with warning decals that users can apply to valuables they've marked. Thieves who steal the items anyway can never be confident of removing the proof of the legitimate owners' identity. Police only have to find one DataDot to identify the property and return it to its owner.

Many of the world’s top-name car, motorcycle and boat manufacturers have been using DataDot technology to permanently identify their vehicles and parts. The crime prevention kits are especially popular on college campuses where many high-tech toys like laptop computers are stolen.

Hansen gives free demonstrations of DataDots to law enforcement agencies and to college bookstores that are interested in stocking the product.  For more information, contact Hansen at 303-810-7368 or info@DigitalHomeInventories.com or learn more about DataDots at http://digitalhomeinventories.com/page2/page2.html

 ###

To generate even more publicity for this product and his company, Aaron could write a list of tips such as "6 ways to protect your valuables," post it online, and send it to a targeted list of media outlets that would be interested in it. One of the tips, of course, would be to use an ID kit like DataDots. These tips lists are one of nine different kinds of briefs that I explain on "Briefs, Fillers & Quizzes: How to Create Them and Why Editors LOVE Them," available as a CD or an electronic transcript.
 

Opportunity #43: Move into a new market

If your business or nonprofit is serving a new geographic market, or expanding to serve a new industry, write a press release. Send the release to relevant trade publications as well as to media within the current and new markets.  
 

Tomorrow: Skip the self-congratulation


Need help with publicity?
The Publicity Hound's Resources List includes products and vendors that can help with many aspects of your publicity campaign. You'll find press release distribution services, publicists, audio experts, ghostwriters and more.


***Have you missed previous lessons in this tutorial? You
      can find them below:

Lesson 1     Lesson 2     Lesson 3     Lesson 4     Lesson 5     Lesson 6      Lesson 7     Lesson 8     Lesson 9     Lesson 10    Lesson 11    Lesson 12   Lesson 13   Lesson 14    Lesson 15   Lesson 16   Lesson 17    Lesson 18
Lesson 19   Lesson 20    Lesson 21   Lesson 22   Lesson 23    Lesson 24
Lesson 25   Lesson 26    Lesson 27   Lesson 28   Lesson 29    Lesson 30
Lesson 31   Lesson 32    Lesson 33   Lesson 34   Lesson 35    Lesson 36
Lesson 37   Lesson 38    Lesson 39   Lesson 40   Lesson 41    Lesson 42
 

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